IB exam

For the IB exam, I didn't prepare enough to take an exam. First, shamefully I didn't complete the book "Whale rider". I only watched a movie and read some parts of the book that we talked about in the class. So, when I was taking the exam, I actually had no idea what I was writing. I spent 30 minutes to read a book during the test. It was very embarrassing experience to just sit there down and stare at the questions without coming up with any ideas. Eventually, I chose one question and tried to answer it, but my point was totally off from the question. I described the scene when Kahu goes into the ocean to reach to whales and finally she rides those whales and grand father realizes that Kahu is the true leader of the tribe. I didn't even complete it. I only wrote one and half pages about when Kahu was trying to approach to the whales and ended up with couple of lines that describes when Kahu actually rides the whale because I was out of time. 

The second day's exam was even worse. My teacher recommended us to memorize two poems from each of two poets, so that we could bring them up during the test and answer the questions. However, I.. . didn't memorize any of them. I honestly don't know why I didn't or couldn't do the works that my English teacher told me to do. Even when I had extra review session with her, I was just starring at the poems and not thinking anything. Thus, when I was taking the exam, I couldn't write a single word until most of the time passed. I literally wrote three sentences about "Because I could not stop for Death" and handed it. 

I really don't understand my behavior in past few weeks. I was totally out of my mind and  the book and the poems were not coming into my brain. I handed several quizzes without writing any single word. I felt so sorry and shamed to my teacher, but my mind was not on working.